


Bruno's Nightwatch

by BlitheFool



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Humor, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-27
Updated: 2014-03-27
Packaged: 2018-01-17 05:30:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1375606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlitheFool/pseuds/BlitheFool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Night-watch at The Joker's new hideout was starting to get awkward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bruno's Nightwatch

**Author's Note:**

> A little story I wrote ages ago. It still amuses me so...here it is!

Night-watch at The Joker's new hideout was starting to get awkward. Bruno had worked, off and on, for The Clown Prince for several years now. Like most henches-for-hire he made himself available to whoever felt like paying him the most. He liked the night-watch. It was generally safe, easy, and it paid pretty damn good.

When Bruno first met the clown, he was flying solo. Aside from the occasional heist, or tango with The Bat, Joker kept mostly to himself. Bruno would sit outside the clown's quarters and watch the flickering surveillance cameras, play cards, and haul in the cash. Hell, he hardly noticed Joker was around unless he heard the familiar sound of a Marks Brother's film, or one of those chilling peals of laughter. All in all, it was a pretty good gig. Then Bruno took an unexpected "vacation" at Gotham's local clink. When he came back, the game had changed. 

She was a hot little number. A pretty blonde with a body that could kill and a voice like nails on a chalk board. The boss said her name was Harley Quinn. Cute. But that struck Bruno as strange. The boss never introduced nobody before. The spot-light was his, and his alone. Still. Bruno took one look at the girl in the red and black clown outfit and decided almost instantly that she wouldn't last long in this business. The Joker's "staff" was never permanent. Hell, he'd seen the boss gouge someone's eyes out for laughing at the wrong joke. And he'd never seen him keep a dame around. He wasn't sure where she came from, all blue doe eyes, and pouty lips. The word on the street was Joker broke her out of Arkham. Great. Another looney-toon. He figured, with a voice like that, it wouldn't be long before he was taking her for a drive in a plastic bag. She got her own room, and things were pretty much the same. He tried not to look at her too much. He didn't know what their relationship was, but he didn't want to temp fate. Bruno liked breathing.

Every so often he'd see the blonde sneak into the boss' quarters late at night. That never seemed to go over too well. After a fair amount of hollering, Bruno could hear him wailing on her. He wasn't a queasy guy (you couldn't be in this business), but his heart lurched a little when he'd see her stumble out, bloody and beaten to a pulp. Some nights, she'd only make it a few minutes before a pair of bone-white hands would open the bedroom door and send her sprawling. For all the abuse, she never gave up. Oh, did that dame fawn over him! He seemed to enjoy it sometimes. When he didn't, that's when she paid for it. Bruno had gone on another "vacation" shortly after that. Figured her days were numbered.

When Bruno got out of lock-up he took a year long stint with Two-Face. His jobs paid pretty well but the whole coin flipping thing just got on his nerves. At least The Joker could make a decision without asking his pocket change about it first. So, he once again took up his station as the night-watchmen, but he found the rules had changed yet again. By some miracle that dame was still alive! Not only that but what once was The Boss' Room was now Their Room.

And that's when things started to get uncomfortable. Bruno could deal with the psychotic laughter. It was creepy, but generally harmless. He could deal with the domestic violence. He'd seen enough of it, and he killed people for a living. But these new noises were of a very different variety. At first he'd assumed that the clown was beating on her again. It seemed the most reasonable explanation. He was a sadistic bastard and she certainly did have a lot of bruises. Then it became painfully obvious that the noises were something else entirely. He'd done his best to just ignore it, but it was fairly impossible. Stationed directly in front of their door, her performances were almost deafening. Judging from the noise level, Bruno figured the clown must be quite the Casanova. He shuddered at the thought.

She'd emerge in the morning with a goofy smile plastered on her face, looking like she was mauled by a bear. The Joker, for his part, remained mostly stoic. Sometimes he even looked a bit…uncomfortable. This certainly was not the look of a man who just stuck it to his incredibly hot girlfriend. Something had changed in the clown. A bit of his edge seemed lost, or maybe he'd gained a little humanity. Whatever it was, it seemed to put him out of his element. Until recently Bruno's boss had seemed almost other-worldly. Like none of life's rules applied to him. That Harley Quinn made him seem a little more like a person. Not that Bruno would ever say anything of the sort out-loud. He generally kept his conversations with the clown limited to "Yes, Boss.".

As the months passed, their nights of passion seemed to come with alarming frequency. Bruno had taken to shoving cotton in his ears at work, in an effort to drown out the clown girls' cries of pleasure. It had gotten to the point where he couldn't even look at them during the day. Bruno's eyes were permanently glued to the tiled floor.

All Hell broke loose when he'd taken a night off, and one of the other henches had covered his night-shift. Pauly had made a grave error. When the clown slipped out of their room in the morning the doomed henchmen had shot him a sly little smile. He ended up with a bang flag lodged in his brain. It had all been a bit of a mess.

Suddenly henching for Two-Face was looking a lot more appealing.


End file.
